八木　ジン

Jinn Yagi

"I was caught up in multitasking.
One summer night
I was driving my car when I heard another auditory hallucination
It was like the echo of a guitar effects pedal turned up to max.
Various words and sounds were flitting about behind my ears
A variety of voices were coming from many directions
both positive and negative, and
It held me down.

But after a few seconds, I couldn't remember anything.

I looked at my phone.
It kept counting up messages on right hand corner says few hundreds at
the LINE app icon.

I pulled my car into the garage of my house and shut the door hard.
I carried my heavy equipment into my studio and
I collapsed on the couch, feeling dizzy.

In my head.
Task images floated by at the rate of one per second, but
they quickly disappeared.
I have no idea where to begin.

I'm taking numerous breaths trying to calm down, but
I'm not taking in the oxygen that's so crucial.
I'm in so much pain and suffering that tears are starting to stream down my face

I found myself screaming in my mind for help over and over again
I tried to call slowly and asked for advice from someone who was connected.

There was smoke in front of me
I kept trying to focus, but it didn't focus at all
I couldn't even get a word out.

From that day on
I cut myself off from many things.

It's been a few months since then.
I've been experiencing occasional dizziness, trouble breathing, depression-like
I have some symptoms like panic attacks, but
I am slowly recovering.

In the past six months, I have been experiencing a variety of changes
in my feelings and emotions.

The world I see, its colors, shapes, depths
backsides and fronts, is constantly changing, emerging.
Society swings me around
but that is just nature,

The emotions of my "self," which is still undefined
but after all, they appear in my artwork anyhow.

That’s all right